Helping the Children

"How do I know if my children are not coping with the stress?"

We have listed below specific behaviors that will give you some idea about how your child is coping with stress. To understand how your child is doing, you must begin by remembering how your child handled past hurts and disappointments. This will give you a base line or reasonable idea about how fast your child bounces back from other disappointments and hurts. Remember that all children are different. Some children brood for months while others perk up in a couple of days. You should not use your own capacity to bounce back as a standard to compare your child with. Instead use your child's history as a standard for what is reasonable to expect. Below are red flags that suggest that your child is not coping well with the breakup or, for that matter, any significant source of stress.

Your child looses his or her spontaneity. His or her speech is flat, displays poor eye contact, and appears sad.

When you contrast how your child bounced back from other hurts, you notice this time it is taking a lot longer for him or her to return to his ore her old self.

After a few days, your child should still want to participate in fun activities and socialize with friends. Any withdrawal should not last for more than a week. (continue)

All parents want to believe that their children can cope well with a divorce or breakup. Feeling guilty, parents usually start questioning their competency as a parent. The questions, "How do I know if my children are not coping with the stress?"and "How do I know if my child needs professional help?" are worries for most parents. To help you, we have tried to offer you some guidelines below. If you have serious doubts or worries about how your children are doing, seek professional help.