Asking for help is sometimes hard because you feel embarrassed about telling a stranger about your problems. It may seem like an admission of failure or you may be afraid that you will be told, "This is all your fault." Either way, trusting someone to help and not knowing what our children will say can be scary. That is why it is important to find someone who is qualified and makes you feel comfortable.
While deciding to get counseling for your son or daughter, the first thing you will probably do is to ask the children if they want to talk to someone. This sounds reasonable, but most of the time they will say, "No." After all, children are masters of avoidance and the prospect of talking to a stranger makes them nervous. They may complain about not knowing what to say or worry about what the counselor will say to their mom or dad. Now you feel bewildered. You may not know whether to respect you children's wishes or force them to see a counselor. The answer to that question depends upon how badly your children are behaving. If you believe your children are not coping and their behavior is getting worse, they should have no choice but to see a counselor. It is up to the counselor to work with your children's resistance and develop rapport.
