11. Reconfirm your assurances frequently during the first year and even into the second year after separation. Such reassurances are part of their feelings of security - especially actions and affection that say you are glad to be their parent, that you love them, and that they will be taken care of.
12. Check yourself occasionally to see how heavily you may be leaning on your children for their support. While you have a right to your children's respect and love, they are not adults and do not have the same emotional resources or experiences that you do. Repeatedly ask yourself, "Who is reassuring whom?"
13. Don't outlaw crying or honest display of emotions for your children or yourself. Crying is natural and offers release when it is spontaneous and follows appropriately on hurts, frights, or spats.
14. Enjoy your children, have some family fun times. In the midst of all the do's and don'ts and new pressures, take time just to relax together or play together. Laughter is a great healer and it nearly always gives a new perspective. The years together will go by quickly enough and these fun times will be part of your treasure.
15. Trust yourself and your instincts. Trust in your children, have confidence in their ability to change and learn. You are the best judge of what is best for you and for your children. If you have restored order in your household, have done your two-home groundwork, and established safety rules and house rules, you have already gone a long way in demonstrating your love for your children and in caring for their needs. [Some troubling stats]
