I met bruce Sallon on Facebook. He is an author, a great guy and he writes at www.brucesallan.com.

“A Dad’s Point-of-View” began about four years ago, when I was hired as a columnist for a local paper. At the end of 2008, I began my self-syndicating efforts to expand by sending out literally thousands of emails. The response was overwhelming as my column now appears in over 75 newspapers and Web sites here in the U.S. and internationally. There are sites carrying my column in the U.K., India, Canada, Mexico, Japan and Australia, and Israel. In addition, I’m one of the few male bloggers hired to write an exclusive blog for momlogic.com. It is called “Just A Guy.” I’ve also appeared on webcasts and radio talk shows in recent months.

The subjects I cover include parenting, raising boys, dating as a single parent, internet dating advice, marriage advice, blending families and dealing with step-parenting, all the ups and downs of separation and divorce, as well as the general parenting perspective from a man’s point-of-view which, I fervently assert, is different from a woman’s!

Check him out when you have time.

Falling into the severe category of Parental Alienation Syndrome
By Jayne A. Major, Ph.D

Falling into the severe category of parental alienation are those parents who become obsessed with destroying the child’s relationship with the other parent and that parent’s family and friends. Dr. Frank Williams describes this goal of cutting a parent out of a child’s life as a “parentectomy.” In these cases, a child will succumb to the alienator’s programming or brainwashing and experience fear, anger, and hatred toward the target parent. When parental alienation is severe enough, children have no choice but to align with the disturbed parent against the target parent, thus destroying their relationship with the target parent. These children no longer have free will or the ability to continue loving the target parent. PAS describes the child’s behavior in response to the brainwashing that has occurred; it does not describe actions on the part of a parent. The focus of this article in on children who are being severely alienated or who are already experiencing PAS…

It is unfortunate that too many people will believe a dramatic story more than they will listen to evidence. Drama is the hallmark of people who are psychologically disturbed. Individuals with these severe mental health issues are under-diagnosed. We need more research and clarity on the effects of PA/PAS. The costs are staggering to children, the target parent, and that person’s family. The damage is severe and has long-reaching effects.

The whole fabric of our society is undermined by the behaviors of these severely disturbed individuals. Both men and women with obsessed thinking create PA/PAS situations with children and their target parent. Their irresponsible behaviors siphon off a staggering amount of social resources to stabilize the chaos they create. Any protocol that we use for the regular population is woefully inadequate in making them normal. Every year, hundreds of thousands of children and parents are experiencing the phenomenon of PA/PAS and the resulting devastation it causes. Millions of people are ending up damaged because, up to now, we have not even recognized the phenomenon or truly considered its impact. We all need to take action to educate and help people who have this terrible problem that does such severe damage to children.

By Jayne A. Major, Ph.D

Parental Alienation: A Law Guardian’s Perspective

By - Tracey A. Bloodsaw Esq. P.C.

The aim of today’s discussion is not necessarily to focus on the meaning of parental alienation, since there is a plethora of resources available for that purpose. Instead, I want to explore the significant roles, within the court process, that each of the players play in child custody cases where parental alienation is a factor. It is safe to assume that there is at least a minimum understanding of what parental alienation is-the brainwashing, manipulation, control of the child by one parent to stir up feelings of hate, anger, disdain, disrespect, disregard of the other parent, to name a few. According to the DOJ, it is domestic violence, while to many others it is a form of child abuse/neglect. Whichever way one chooses to characterize it, define it, diagnose it or treat it, it is indisputably one of the most egregious and catastrophic issues currently plaguing our society as a whole, worthy of open and daily discussion amongst us all.

Family Court cases are an enigma in that it is involves the only field of law where personal prejudices, cultural influences, religious mores and economic resources all converge, having a direct and profound impact on the outcomes of each case. Even as an attorney, I am continuously reminded of the fact that there is no hard and steadfast rule in how one should rear or nurture their family. However, there is a resounding principle in Family Court, as in any other arena, that children are our most precious jewel and should not be sacrificed for any reason. Nevertheless, it is the individual interpretation of this principle that leads them to make judgments or implement plans that are not aligned with this most important viewpoint. The governing standard, ‘the best interest of the child” sometimes loses its acuity as a result, and thus the only person that typically suffers is the child.

There are key players in child custody cases, which include the attorneys for the parents, the law guardian (the attorney for the children), the court, the forensics (experts), the parents and, most importantly, the children. I want to explore the role of the law guardian first, since their role is the most pivotal. This is the person whose job it is to represent the child’s interests, convey the child’s wishes and to protect the child, all concomitantly. And although this may sound pretty basic, it is in theory but certainly not in practice. I have extensive experience in representing children in child custody and child visitation cases in Family Court and in contested divorces, and in many of my cases I am confronted with or surmise that parental alienation exists. In many cases, either the custodial parent badmouths the non-custodial parent, will not communicate with the non-custodial parent about significant events, occurrences, etc. in the child’s life, will intentionally disregard scheduled child visitation, blames the non-custodial for the dissolution of the family, makes the child unavailable to the non-custodial by engaging the child in other activities, gains empathy and/or sympathy from the child about his/her emotional state, minimizes the non-cutodial parent’s role while imposing a new partner on the child in his/her place, amongst many others.

The law guardian’s role is challenging because despite the circumstances that exist, the child’s wishes must be regarded and communicated to the court by the law guardian and many times this means that his/her client’s wishes not to have any contact with the non-custodial parent must not be dismissed. Conversely, protecting the child often means that, even where the law guardian must inform the court of his/her client’s wish not to have contact with the non-custodial parent, the law guardian’s going along with this may not be in that child’s best interest. And although our ethical rules dictate how we are to resolve such conflicts, in practice this can be much more difficult, especially when our own values or sociologic viewpoints come into play.

What is much more explicit in our obligations and duties as law guardian is that we are not limited to the issues in the child custody litigation, but have the obligation to address all of the child’s material needs. In essence, we are held with the responsibility to investigate further if we suspect that there is any form of child abuse/neglect present, and must report this to the proper authority. In the most extreme case, where parental alienation poses a risk or harm or potential harm to the child’s emotional, psychological or physical well-being, we have a duty to report to the court and Child Protective Services, which may result in a child abuse/neglect case being brought against the alienating parent. Consequently, again, we are placed in a position of conflict, since reporting any suspicion of child abuse/neglect can sometimes only exacerbate any emotional turmoil the client already experiences.

The skillful and experienced law guardian will effectively investigate, explore and engage all relevant sources in an effort to establish their client’s rationale for their desire not to visit with the non-custodial parent. The law guardian should establish a rapport with his/her client, gain the client’s trust and ensure the child that he can confide in him/her, interact with the child in a manner that is suitable for the child’s age, maturity and developmental stage while keeping in mind that there is a complete story. The law guardian should interview the parties, other relevant persons who may give valuable insight, as well as potential expert witnesses. The importance of visiting the home environment should not be overlooked, nor should reviewing pertinent records, i.e. school, medical, etc. to be better able to make a complete and comprehensive assessment of what is in the child’s best interest. Understanding the impact of parental alienation will only serve to equip the law guardian with the tools needed to prevent, terminate or minimize its deleterious effects on children. At first glance, one can very easily communicate to the court that his/her client has expressed a strong desire not to see the non-custodial parent, particularly when they of “unimpaired” age (12 years old and above). However, it is only when the law guardian truly accepts the importance of the child having a relationship with both parents, by any means, that they can effectively act in the child’s best interest and protect the child. There are various resources and methods available to law guardians to get the court, as well as the other key players in the child custody litigation, involved in addressing parental alienation. Under rare circumstances should the path taken by the law guardian be supporting the termination or suspension of child visitation with the non-custodial parent, this only serves to compound the problem and perpetuate hate, anger, guilt, fear, etc. well into adulthood.