Sorry I just posted this but I forgot to include my email address and I also would like to say to all those non custodial parents and their children who hurt and suffer like me I hope someday the hurt stops, your heart heals and your reunited with your children/ parent again. My email address is dpaulson1971@yahoo.com. 

By Mom

“THE PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME IS THE DELIBERATE ATTEMPT BY ONE PARENT TO DISTANCE HIS/HER CHILDREN FROM THE OTHER PARENT AND IN DOING SO, THE PARENT ENGAGES THE CHILDREN IN THE PROCESS OF DESTROYING THE AFFECTIONAL TIES AND FAMILIAL BONDS THAT ONCE EXISTED…”

***This is a little page out of my story and it has now been almost 4 years and still my children and I are living apart***

I am the Mother of 3 beautiful children, Taylor (now 18 a senior in high school-he was just graduating 8th grade when I was last living with him,he was loving towards me and we had a typical normal loving Son and Mother relationship, he now hasn’t even said Mom in about 3 years, no phone calls, when I call him he says nothing and acts like I should not even be calling him and its bothering him. We have no relationship at this point, I don’t even know him anymore.) Mackayla ( now 15 and a freshman in high school-she cried when I had to go-she was 10 years old-her and I had it all figured out-we would see each other every other weekend and we even made a calendar and put all her soft ball games so I would not miss her first year playing on a school softball team. I promised her we would always be Mommy bug and Macky bug and now that her Dad and I were going to have seperated lives we could spend more quality time with her and her sister and brother for when we were together it would be just about me and u- I promised we would forever be together and that it would all work out) and Kelcie ( now turning 9 in April- she was 4 turning 5 a week later when I left and  I had been telling her that Mommy and Daddy are going to be living apart and we will see each other, half  the time she would be with Dad and the other with me, so she kinda new something was happening and changing. Kelcie was always my little shawdow. Were I went she went and that was that, and I loved it. Being my 3rd child and so far apart from her brother and sister it was just different with her, maybe because I was 30 when I had her and not 21 and so young when I had Taylor, for what ever reason she slept with me since the day she was born and never left my side until I left 4-22-07, that day I left we arranged for her to go up the street to play with her girlfriend and she loved when she got to go play with Anna, I kissed her and hugged her so tight, she probably thought okay Mom I will see you when I get home. I told her I would see her soon and I tried to explain as best as I could I would not be home for her that night or the next morning, I never imagined it would turn to be now 3 years 10 months and 20 days I have not been at home with her at night or be there for her to do her hair in the morning… she is my brave one. When we do see each other she sings me songs about life and how she wishes her Dad would let her see her Mom more and why does life have to be so hard. She is so grown up for her age. She sings beautifully!!  I have red hair and all 3 of my children have my red hair. Everyone says me and Mackayla are spitting images of each other. I miss them….

ONE OF THE WORST OF TIMES THAT STILL BREAKS MY HEART BUT YET THE BEST OF TIMES I WAS ABLE TO SPEND WITH MY LITTLE SWEET KELCIE….
 In 2008 while living in Lake County I would once or twice a week help out in Kelcie’s class room, she was in Kindegarden. I would never tell her the night before just in case I couldn’t be there, so I would wait for her in front of where the drop off is. I would be so excited to see her and to surprise her.. I would see the white truck, coming down the hill, they would turn into the driveway of the school and that’s when she would see me…SMILE SMILE ALL OVER HER FACE.. She would almost jump out of the truck to get out  and she looked so precious with her backpack almost bigger than her little body and then she would take my hand and take me to all her friends and she would not let go of my hand for nothing. Their so cute at this age.  So then all the kids in her class would try to hold my hands as well, at times I would be standing in their line up line after lunch or recess and I looked like that game twister.. I chuckle writing this cuz it was just so fun and I was so happy to for once at that time it was only a year without Kelcie to only be in that moment, be a Mom and enjoy my little girl. But then it was so short lived, her class would end right after lunch around 12:30 and in the grade all the kids sit on the floor in a circle so I would sit with Kelcie in my legs or next to her but sometimes I would help Mrs.Underwood by grading papers or what have you and Kelcie would get mad and start to cry that I was not sitting with her, and the closer to lunch the more she cried and at times Mrs. Underwood (a very wonderful teacher,”Thank you Mrs. Underwood”) would take her in her arms and say “Kelcie YOU HAVE TO ENJOY THIS TIME WITH YOUR MOM AND  NOT BE SAD, SHE WILL COME AGAIN.”
Mrs.Underwood would just hold kelcie in her arms in a bear hug like and console my daughter’s broken little heart. I would just take her in my arms and hold her so close, so tight and I could of held her Forever right then and would have never let go if it weren’t that I had to try to be strong and for her sake comforting in that I would be back and that we had fun right. I know you are sad and miss Mommy and I wish we could always be together and Dad will be here soon to pick u up so if he sees you crying like this he maybe will make it so I can’t come to your school anymore, I would tell my precious daughter. I never said anything bad about their Dad but sometimes I had to say the truth and the truth is their father has made it so I was not at their birthday party’s ,holidays, etc.  So Dad pulls up I would kiss her goodbye and her sad little eyes she would say “Bye Mom, I love you.” and I would fight back the tears till I watched her walk away, get back in the white truck and drive off.” I would watch the white truck till it was no more in sight…Then the tears would come and I would walk off from the school crying to my self and wonder How could this have happened to us, just how come!!  How happy, sad of times those days were for me and my Sweet Little Kelcie… She is my brave one!!

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Hello everyone, I am new to this sight and I would like to know how many people have had an experience with the grandparents of thier children being the “alienators” Please post on this if you have.

I just found this blog - and I have never blogged before - but this is a very important day for me.  It is my daughter’s 22 birthday.  We have been estranged for the last few months.  I have 4 children, ages 27, 25, 22 and 18.  I do not see or speak to any of them.  In 2004, after years of an emotionally abusive marriage, I asked for a divorce.  I was a stay at home mom for 22 years - since 1982 when my first daughter was born.  That was after 7 years of marriage and working so my x could get his masters degree.  I raised 4 children.  My x was never home and always pursuing another get rich quick scheme. 

One week after I asked for the divorce - he got an order of protection against me - through the Rockland County Court, New City, NY - locking me out of my bedroom - because…supposedly…I kept him awake at night by trying to talk about our problems.  He was never home to talk about anything - he would come home late at night and go right to bed.  ANYWAY - the court granted him an order of protection and I was forbidden from entering my own bedroom for fear of arrest.  I did have to enter it one day - when my son was trying to open a can of soup with a screwdriver and a hammer because there was no can opener.  His father had begun taking things and hiding them in the bedroom so I would not take them when I moved.  I broke into the bedroom and was arrested - yes, for trying to get a can opener and my x was at work in White Plains - about 40 miles away - BUT I was still arrested. 

My x knew that in order to keep the house, he would have to drive me away - and he did this by securing the orser of protection - He also had closed all the bank accounts and I did not have any money.  He had never been in a grocery store for family shopping - and immediately after he was served with divorce papers, he decided that he would not allow me to shop - and he told the kids I could not be trusted with money.  He did the shopping and my kids saw him take over a role they only knew me to do.  He told my kids I stole their college money.  I did take money from the only savings account I could - so I could pay my lawyer - but my x told my children over and over that I stole their college money.  When my daughter was to return to college in September - he refused to pay - even though he made $130,000 annualy, collected $3500/month in rents and had a home equity loan - only he had access to (after forging my signature) with avaibalble funds of $130,000.  He told her she could not go back to college - her SENIOR year - unless I paid for it.  I took out a $12,000 loan - I had no business taking when I was earning $12/hour as a receptionist.  6 years later I still owe $11,000 on that student loan.  He also told another daughter that she would have to go to the community college unless I paid for her tuition.  I could not and I had a fight with him and he had me arrested again - handcuffed and taken away in a police car.  I did spit at him  - and he punched me in the face - but the CLARKSTOWN POLICE arrested me as the aggressor - and no charges were filed against him - even though I had a bruise on my face - noted in the police report.  The officer told me I had no proof it was from a punch or from him - yet they believed my x that I spit at him - I guess the spit was still there and they did a DNA?

My x had me arrested 3 times - using my son to testify to the police and the CLARKSTOWN POLICE took my 14 year old sons statements to have me arrested.

there is much more to this story - it is a sad, disgusting story of power, intimidation, manipulation - and now I do not talk to any of my 4 children

Official Statement on Parental Alienation Syndrome From The American Psychological Association

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The American Psychological Association (APA) believes that all mental health practitioners as well as law enforcement officials and the courts must take any reports of domestic violence in divorce and child custody cases seriously. An APA 1996 Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family noted the lack of data to support so-called “parental alienation syndrome”, and raised concern about the term’s use. However, we have no official position on the purported syndrome.

The American Psychological Association (APA), in Washington, DC, is the largest scientific and professional organization representing psychology in the United States and is the world’s largest association of psychologists. APA’s membership includes more than 150,000 researchers, educators, clinicians, consultants and students.

I firmly believe that as soon as they come up with a pill for PAS they will immediately add it to the DSM and immediately begin drugging everyone involved.

Ken Maddox

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