Hello everyone, I am new to this sight and I would like to know how many people have had an experience with the grandparents of thier children being the “alienators” Please post on this if you have.

I just found this blog - and I have never blogged before - but this is a very important day for me.  It is my daughter’s 22 birthday.  We have been estranged for the last few months.  I have 4 children, ages 27, 25, 22 and 18.  I do not see or speak to any of them.  In 2004, after years of an emotionally abusive marriage, I asked for a divorce.  I was a stay at home mom for 22 years - since 1982 when my first daughter was born.  That was after 7 years of marriage and working so my x could get his masters degree.  I raised 4 children.  My x was never home and always pursuing another get rich quick scheme. 

One week after I asked for the divorce - he got an order of protection against me - through the Rockland County Court, New City, NY - locking me out of my bedroom - because…supposedly…I kept him awake at night by trying to talk about our problems.  He was never home to talk about anything - he would come home late at night and go right to bed.  ANYWAY - the court granted him an order of protection and I was forbidden from entering my own bedroom for fear of arrest.  I did have to enter it one day - when my son was trying to open a can of soup with a screwdriver and a hammer because there was no can opener.  His father had begun taking things and hiding them in the bedroom so I would not take them when I moved.  I broke into the bedroom and was arrested - yes, for trying to get a can opener and my x was at work in White Plains - about 40 miles away - BUT I was still arrested. 

My x knew that in order to keep the house, he would have to drive me away - and he did this by securing the orser of protection - He also had closed all the bank accounts and I did not have any money.  He had never been in a grocery store for family shopping - and immediately after he was served with divorce papers, he decided that he would not allow me to shop - and he told the kids I could not be trusted with money.  He did the shopping and my kids saw him take over a role they only knew me to do.  He told my kids I stole their college money.  I did take money from the only savings account I could - so I could pay my lawyer - but my x told my children over and over that I stole their college money.  When my daughter was to return to college in September - he refused to pay - even though he made $130,000 annualy, collected $3500/month in rents and had a home equity loan - only he had access to (after forging my signature) with avaibalble funds of $130,000.  He told her she could not go back to college - her SENIOR year - unless I paid for it.  I took out a $12,000 loan - I had no business taking when I was earning $12/hour as a receptionist.  6 years later I still owe $11,000 on that student loan.  He also told another daughter that she would have to go to the community college unless I paid for her tuition.  I could not and I had a fight with him and he had me arrested again - handcuffed and taken away in a police car.  I did spit at him  - and he punched me in the face - but the CLARKSTOWN POLICE arrested me as the aggressor - and no charges were filed against him - even though I had a bruise on my face - noted in the police report.  The officer told me I had no proof it was from a punch or from him - yet they believed my x that I spit at him - I guess the spit was still there and they did a DNA?

My x had me arrested 3 times - using my son to testify to the police and the CLARKSTOWN POLICE took my 14 year old sons statements to have me arrested.

there is much more to this story - it is a sad, disgusting story of power, intimidation, manipulation - and now I do not talk to any of my 4 children

Official Statement on Parental Alienation Syndrome From The American Psychological Association

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The American Psychological Association (APA) believes that all mental health practitioners as well as law enforcement officials and the courts must take any reports of domestic violence in divorce and child custody cases seriously. An APA 1996 Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family noted the lack of data to support so-called “parental alienation syndrome”, and raised concern about the term’s use. However, we have no official position on the purported syndrome.

The American Psychological Association (APA), in Washington, DC, is the largest scientific and professional organization representing psychology in the United States and is the world’s largest association of psychologists. APA’s membership includes more than 150,000 researchers, educators, clinicians, consultants and students.

I firmly believe that as soon as they come up with a pill for PAS they will immediately add it to the DSM and immediately begin drugging everyone involved.

Ken Maddox

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