March 14, 2008 - Friday
My letter to Dr.Phil
Current mood: determined

I don’t expect to get a response from you because I have written a few times already. However I thought I would try again since lately you have been focusing so much on the effects of what these types of issues have on children. And honestly that is what I’m so concerned about. The effects this is having on my children. Which seems to be so non important to many. My children have been denied their mother for what will be (5) years on March 23 2008. It has been that long since they have seen me. Now my children have been completely brainwashed and their minds kidknapped, to the point that I don’t think they will ever be able to remember or return to me for a relationship they need and deserve. So what about them? Who will save them and heal their broken hearts? Who even cares? I do and if it means that I will spend the rest of my life trying for them, then I will.

My father died when I was (8) I know the pain a child feels not having the other half of who they are. your always missing and longing for the parent you use to know and the parent you loved, who is now gone. That you looked up to and admired. My father died so there isn’t anyway to get him back in my life. I understand that, but it’s different for a child that knows the other half of who they are is out there and thinks they don’t love them or eventually believes they are so aweful, that they fear who you are. What is the most painful part of this all for me is what agonizing pain and pure anguish they must have inside them, and as their mother I can’t can’t fix it for them or make it better, despite my many, many efforts. I know they have been told I haven’t tried to see them, that I have just abononded them because I didnt love them. Thats the furthest from the truth I have and have saved evrything including the enormous attempts in court down to the reciepts for the food I bought in their city when searching for them or trying to see them. I have only recently been able to get pictures and they were not from them. My son is now 18 and my daughters are now 15 and 13 I have not been able to speak to my children much if any at all. The last time I spoke with my son was in Dec of 2007 My youngest daughter on Oct, 3 2007 and my other daughter since Febuary of 2007 I call and call and call.

My children are not allowed to have a picture of me in the house because of their step-mom. I have sent pictures of me and My children together and My children told me long ago that she tore me out of the picture. And said that she did not want a trace of me in her home. My children have been told I am a prostitute, drug addict and that I never loved them and that I was a horrible mother. My children were never allowed to talk to me on the phone in the beginning of this horrible battle without their step-mom on the other end or with them on speaker phone so she could hear. She also would force them to tell me the phone call is being recorded. In the middle of our conversations long ago, as she was on the other end or in the room listening in, she would get in our conversations and force them by yelling at them to tell me that they don’t love me and don’t want me for a mom anymore. My children would just be in a silenence, just frozen and sometimes would break down and cry or say I don’t wanna talk anymore .

If I am able to talk to them which at this point I am not she would be whispering to them on what to say. Our conversations were monitored and interupted by her everytime. They were trained to not tell me anything anymore about anything or they would get in trouble. They have been told to run if they see me because I will steel them. They were also told if they lived with me CPS would take them and place them into foster care making them believe her every word. In the beginning my children would tell me of these things I would attempt to confront her, my ex and the court on these issues and never got anywhere. The gifts I have sent have been sold on ebay or thrown away. She has said to me, all of my family members and even to a child support attorney she wanted no trace of me in their lives and she wished I was dead. My children use to tell me she would say that to them. The step-mom would have their little sister from their dad and step-mom copy the step-mom and skip through the house singing your mom is the wicked witch of the east. My youngest daughter would get mad at her and try to make her stop singing that about her mom and my daughter would get spanked by the step-mom.

The step-mom would tell my children that they were ugly like their mom. That their dad never loved me and he only married me because I forced him too. She would tell my kids to stop crying when they would cry for me. She would say why would cry over such a nasty whore. My children would ball and break down when we had a visit prior to this five year span and beg me to fix it. (Please mommy make the judge change it.) She has told my children in detail of how my father was murdered (he was stabbed to death when I was eight) I only told my children that their grandpa was in heaven. They were too you young to know the truth about anything awful like that. When I was 10 I was molested by a step-father for years and my ex-husband was at the trial when we were 16 and knew the truth and this step-father went to prison for 7 years, however the step mom told my children that I wanted to have sex with him and I should have kept my legs closed. This was five years ago so my children were, son (13) daughter (10) daughter (8) My children asked me why I had sex when I was 10 years old with my step-dad and that is how I know what they were told by her. So what else has happened to my children that I don’t know about now. I could go on and on in details about the things she has told my children and about so many incidents. These only touch the surface of what has happened to them. My children are the main issue of my concern and always have been.

I am none of these things they have told my children and know for a fact no child at 10 years ever willingly has sex with a grown man. I was a loving mother that never abused my children nor did I ever deny them of the other half of who they are, their father. There was an order made against their step-mom from being left alone with my children prior to the custody change, yet the other side gained custody by stating that it was against my current husband and the judge refused to look through the file to see it was against her (the step-mom) and not my current husband. But it was already decided before we had our hearing as you may or may not know attorneys and judges are friends, golf buddies and tend to lean to the other side who is represented by an attorney. The step-mother along with my childrens father have spent thousands to fight me from having any contact as I have spent thousands trying to get contact. It needs to end it is so severe now that there may never be anyway to repair the damage done.

I believe anyone who hears of stories like ours would be shocked and outraged that people would go through leaps and bounds trying to destroy anything you once had with your children or better yet destroy the other half of who they are. That they wouldn’t understand how anyone is capable of allowing their children to suffer so much not giving it a second thought. I spoke with the step-moms, mother and she said she understood I kept arguing with her that she in no way could possibily understand unless she had it happen to her and her children. She stated she did that her daughters father did it to her and one day my children will come to me like she came to her. She said let it go and when they are grown you can see them. I cannot and will not give up that easy for their sake. I need help for my children. How will they be as adults? The pain you suffer as a child goes with you all through your life. I need an intervention for them. I wouldn’t want for them to be like statistics say they will because this has happened to them. (Suicide, drug addicts, mental issues they cannot overcome, criminals acts, ect)
I love my children and wish for anything that I could take their pain away and make it mine.
Please help us…..
My myspace page I made for my children in case they ever searched for me is
http://www.myspace.com/oliivejuice